Past accomplishments, present madness, and up-and-coming lunacy
So this weekend past I accomplished two most noble life goals. Goal one came in the form of taking the especially bonny, especially glorious, especially lascivious web-wench home from the Tavern. Did I give her a ride? Count on it. Did she thank me after, and extend the invitation to do it again at some future date and time? Count on that too. Did she ask me to come back and see her again later on in the weekend? OH yes. This leads to goal two.
Goal two came in the form of the especially bonny, especially glorious, especially lascivious web-wench inviting me into her most private bedroom, wherein I did, and with full knowledge and intent of the act to be performed, take her to her bed. With her husband, unsuspecting, in the next room! It’s good to be the Fiddler. The world may never know or fully appreciate the mysteries and glories beheld by me that day, in that room, in such singular company as hers. It is, truly, good to be the fiddler.
Today it was my civic duty to present myself down in the fair City of Anna to sit upon the panel of jurors. These American rights, so inconvenient for a visiting pirate. Needless to say, I escaped the sentence prematurely through a cunning mixture of craft, resource, and convenient timing. The jury commissioner’s gender helped a bit as well. The lasses, they can nae resist the Fiddler’s charms. Shirking civic duties while giving a civil servant a lesson in true… civil servitude… life goal achieved.
Later on, I learned of an alternate place on this great, wide Internets wherein the people gather to worship and appreciate us pirates even more than here! That place- freepirateporn.com Facebook. That’s right, the Fiddler is on Facebook. Commence with the cyber-wenching!
And in the vein of wenching, I’ll be at Tavern for the next few weeks! Lasses, come out and be entertained! Or wenched. Or mayhaps even seduced. That works too.
Tags: fastfingers
You will not sully my reputation, sweet fiddler. I was merely showing you my collection of enchanted pictures in that room. Imply otherwise again, and me dagger may find itself a new sheath.
Or, in the spirit of web-wenchery, ye may suddenly find yerself with a decidedly less handsome profile picture. I’m thinking something along the lines of this.
And when did I indicate that anything less-than-on-the-up-and-up took place? I merely informed our devoted readership that I took you to your bed, which I did. I spoke not a word of what took place there! Surely our flock of piratical followers would ne’er infer that some torrid act, fraught with passion, took place! Not with your gilded, gem-encrusted reputation for propriety and my well-known lack of charm and guile!