Being a pirate is all fun and games…

You know… If I didn’t know any better, I would say that with One-Eye plundering the West Coast, cosmic forces have been trying to find a suitable replacement for him to retain the “one less than recommended body part” quota within the crew.

At first I thought the Chosen One might be the Captain herself, seeing as how she recently seemed to be one surgery away from a new peg leg (though I still say a functional flintlock blunderbuss attached to her thigh would have been a far better choice)… However, it looks as if she’ll retain the bloody limb after all, leaving us right back at square one.

…Now I’m beginning to worry that it may in fact be me.

Between close calls with both Stringalong and Skippy’s guitar capos, run-ins with hostile insects and bushes, and my own bouts of momentary “fail” as the crew likes to call it, my depth perception seems to be targeted. I may have to ask Chant√© to chase away whatever evil spirits have a grudge against me with her voodoo. Eye patches are best used as a fashion statement only.

…Mike, get your ass back here already! Or at least help me convince the Captain that the Blunderbuss Leg would be more useful to her!