“Make me a sammich”

If you’re the cook on a pirate ship, luvs, carry a big, heavy spoon. You never know when you’ll have to smack a crew member who tries to take extra portions, or who thinks he can charm his way into your pantry, if you get my drift.

And don’t even get me started on the disrespect you get working below decks over a hot stove all day. I try to join in on a joke or a song, and they just roll their eyes and say, “Go make me a sammich.”

…And I do. Because I do take pride in my sammich-making skills.

But still – I can do more than make sammiches. I can make cookies, too. And I can pick just about any pocket in town better than the best of ’em. Plus I can sing a pretty tune. (Sometimes.)

One of these days, they’ll see that. Until then, my spoon will continue to make the argument on my behalf.

And, admittedly, I’ll be making a lot of sammiches.