Pirates for Sail

Stopped by to see my new “niece” and “nephew” last night. As many of our fans know, our fiddler and his two lovely polyamorous mates had twins of different mothers recently. The beautiful Alaria was born, appropriately, on  Fell’s Point Privateer and Baltimore Pirate Invasion Day in April. The handsome Alaric was born a week later. Fortunately, each favors his or her mother and not Father Fast Fingers.

As I was saying, though, I visited the babies last evening. I had previously seen Alaria twice but had not yet had the pleasure of making Alaric’s acquaintence. So I ventured to Baltimore and the home of their very lovely grandma (I know where Maia gets her looks) where both babies and their mamas are staying temporarily. Held ‘em, fed ‘em, burped ‘em, talked to ‘em, and then handed ‘em back to grandma to change ‘em. She didn’t seem to mind. If there’s one thing better than beautiful grandmas, it’s beautiful grandmas loving on their beautiful new grandbabies.

Now, as anyone who knows Fast Fingers is well aware, the Ferrets’ catch phrase for him is, “Why are there always carrots?” After excessive alcohol consumption, as Faster Fingers’ body is rejecting said excess alcohol, he complains there are always carrots present, even when he’s not consumed carrots.

So the question now is whether this axiom will hold true for his offspring. I did not witness any spitting up last night, fortunately. Just standard burps and hic ups, cooing, yawning, and stretching. We’ll keep our fans updated on the carrot question. I’m sure you’re all on the edge of your seats.

Ah, the morning after the Fells Point Privateer Day and Baltimore Pirate Invasion. Many sleep-deprived pyrates were awaking, hung over, trying to remember exactly how they wound up where they woke up.

I was the pyrate DD in my car, so I had to limit my rum intake. Taking inventory: Let’s see…there were 2 Smithwick’s at lunch (bought for me by our pal Cap’n Thighbiter from The Brigands), 3 or 4 free shots of Sailor Jerry and ginger sale passed around by our hosts at Bertha’s, then that orange juice and amaretto thingy at dinner at Bertha’s, and that orange juice crush thingy at…where the hell was that? I just remember singing until I was hoarse and being bought a drink and given a wonderful cigar by our friends Tiki and Torch.

Started off the day with greetings and a hearty “well met” between myself and former Pirates for Sail (PfS) bandmates Thudd, Poppet, Kerris, and Maria, as well as Rosie, who now comprise The Vagabonds. This was followed by a couple of beers and lunch with Cap’n Thighbiter and Stringalong Jim.

The most important event of the day was the announcement that our fiddler, Fast Fingers Bryan McCrae, became a daddy just as PfS were going on at Bertha’s. Alaria Bridget Trinkle entered the world at 2:55 pm and came in at 6 pounds even. If ever there were a good reason to miss Privateer Day, Fast Fingers, this was it. The crowd at Bertha’s drank to Alaria’s health and that of her parents and gave out a round of huzzahs.

Singing at Bertha’s is always a treat because the crowd just gets so into it. They sort of have to, because when they enter the bar, the performing area is right friggin’ there in their faces. A lot of old friends and new stopped by, and I think we set a new record for requests, with 2 for “The Derelict” and 3 for “Whiskey in the Jar.” Shout out to Kenny “The Crimson Corsair” Miller, his gorgeous wife Dianna (a.k.a. Velvet), and the infamous Blender Wench, Vicki Bokhari, who stopped by Bertha’s. Vicki and Kenny founded the Baltimore Pirate Invasion pub crawl, which, after six years, has evolved into one of the largest pyrate events on the East Coast. Huzzah!

It was great to have our old PfS bandmate Red Jack join us for drumming—mainly because it saved my poor arm and wrist from having to do it; and, as anyone can tell you, I can’t drum and sing at the same time. There are those who would say I can’t drum or sing separately either, but they don’t say it for long because I usually show ’em the color o’ their insides if they do.

Avoiding a repeat of last year’s mussels tragedy, I avoided Bertha’s signature dish altogether and discovered they make one hell of a cheeseburger (my lunch) and a completely awesome chef salad (my dinner) with homemade dressing. I can now eat at Bertha’s again and not experience that special moment when one’s body rejects bivalves.

I’m always entertained by The Brigands; they are simply one of the best live pyrate bands around, and four of the decentest pyrates you’d ever hope to meet. We were honored when they invited us onstage to do a couple of numbers with them. At dinner, they paid our own Black Dog Nate a high compliment, noting that his rendition of “The Derelict” on our CD, Band on the Rum (Have I mentioned it’s available on CDBaby and iTunes?) is the best they’ve ever heard. I have to agree; I think it’s one of the best cuts on the CD.

We missed a lot of the pub crawl (Apologies to The Crimson Corsair for not making it to the venue where I had promised to sing “Professional Pirate” from Muppet Treasure Island. I got waylaid and sidetracked on my way there. Beer, rum, and friends were calling from every tavern and public house.). But Stringalong, Flint, Azure Skye, Misty Blaze, and Skippy the Wonder Pirate (incognito for the night as Brian Hamilton) finally caught up with former Pirates for Sail bandmate Dallas Valley of The Ship’s Company Chanteymen; Capt’n Torch and his First Mate Tiki, who provided the aforementioned drink and cigar; Kyrin Krause; Katie Leonard (a.k.a. Mouse), and a bunch of other friends, old and new. Also got to sing “Barrett’s Privateers” with some of the crew from HMS Bounty.

With voices strained and our spirits lifted, we departed Fell’s Point with a vow to return and do it all again next year. Our only regret? That we always miss seeing someone. There’s just no way to meet up with all of one’s pyrate brethren in one day and night. Nonetheless, this event is a grand kick off to the pirate season for both festival pyrates and historical reenactors. Pirates for Sail have been there one way or another every year, and we wouldn’t miss it. Huzzahs all the way around!

Leave it to the Last Mate to find this gem of a story from the Baltimore Sun.

Fire sends Maryland lawmakers rushing out of Annapolis bar
Celebration for new members of legislature ends abruptly

———-

Please tell us someone yelled “MacIntyre”..!

I have long held that most blogs are just ego trips for the authors. Who reads them but for a handful of the author’s friends? But my Drunken Ferret crewmates have prevailed upon me to join the crew blogging–not to be confused with flogging, although I suspect that’s what would await me if I did not start blogging…on the other hand, if the flogging were being dispensed by any of the women aboard ship, perhaps that wouldn’t be such a bad thing. But I digress.

In any event, thus begins the Chanteyman’s Chronicles. Where to begin? Hmm. Perhaps a look back and a look forward would be in order.

Seventeen-ought-nine ’twas a proverbial banner year for Pirates for Sail (PfS). We released our second CD, Band on the Rum, to much critical acclaim (okay, there were a couple of lukewarm huzzahs), and so far Sir Paul has not sued us. Did I mention it’s available on both CDBaby and iTunes?

We made stealth appearances at the Fells Point Privateer Day in April, singing at the dock to celebrate the first anniversary of the christening of the Urban Pirates’ ship, the Fearless, and later being invited on stage to perform with our good friends the Brigands (there’s also a story about Bertha’s mussels and a very sick Gute: see below); we appeared for our second year at the Virginia Renaissance Festival (VARF) in May, an oppressively hot Rock Hall Pirates and Wenches Fantasy Weekend in August, and the cool and windy Long Island Pirate Festival in September; and we made raids on private parties on the Potomac, at Vane Brothers in Baltimore, and at the Chesapeake Maritime Museum in St. Michael’s. We closed the year by splitting the crew in half (not literally, but there’s an idea for next year) on New Years Eve, with half doing a show at Piratz Tavern and the other half performing at Oglebay Resort in Wheeling WV. (That’s a whole ‘nuther story.) Huzzah for us!

And 1710 is shaping up to be as busy. We’ll be continuing our weekly appearances at Piratz Tavern in beautiful downtown Silver Spring, MD. Please come out and see us every Friday night.

Although we’re disappointed we won’t be back at VARF this year (therein lies a long, sordid tale involving stout ale, the Queen’s greyhounds, and a midget with a very long cutlass), and we’re sad to report that the Long Island Pirate Festival will not happen this year, we do have many appearances booked, and more in the works.

First up, PfS will be skulking about the Fells Point Privateer Day once again, Saturday April 10, singing in the bar at Bertha’s in the afternoon and wherever the hell else we damn well feel like it. In March, we made the first of what we hope will be many appearances at the Chesapeake Roller Derby in Westminster, Maryland. We’ll be back there again Saturday June 5.

August 13-15, we’ll invade the 3rd annual Rock Hall Pirates and Wenches Fantasy Weekend, performing with our friends the Brigands and the Pyrates Royale. The following weekend, we’ll cruise down to the Richmond, VA, area for a gig at the Chesterfield Library, Saturday August 21. We’re also looking at returning to the Unicity Performing Arts Festival in Saulisbury, MD, in September, and possibly heading up to New York State this summer to appear at some venues with our cohorts, Ye Pyrate Brotherhood.

Finally, Saturday October 16, we’ve been invited to raid the Toms River Pyrate Festival in, surprisingly, Toms River, New Jersey, where we plan on joining with the crew of Captain Charles Black and Valhalla’s Pirates for a day of plunderin’ and music.

Before I close this long-winded epistle, let me urge you to attend the Ft. Frederick Market Fair, April 22-25 (that’s Thursday thru Sunday) at historic Ft. Frederick in Big Pool, MD (near Hagerstown). You’ll find tons of fun stuff if you’re into living history and historical reenactment during the American Colonial period, French and Indian Wars, Revolution, age of pyracy, etc.

Eat Bertha’s Mussels
They’re the best there is, by far
You can eat them in the dining room
And throw up beside your car
Whenever you’re in Baltimore
And you’d like to throw up in the street
Eat Bertha’s mussels
Just don’t throw up upon your feet