Literacy, ’tis a close-guarded secret

Come here to me, boy, I’ve a secret to tell you.

Och so, so I can read, write, and count higher than 4, ’tis all part of the braggadocio.

Oy oy, so I know what “braggadocio” means as well as how to spell it.  That does nae in any way render me less piratical, does it?  So I stole an education, so sue me!  We pirates need our marketable skills, after all.

For the record, my marketable skills include fiddling, wenching, leching, coming up with bad jokes, and why is “wenching” nae a word when “leching” is, then?  That there, ’tis wrong, as if someone had their priorities in the wrong order! First you wench, THEN you lech!  How are you supposed to lech without first taming the wench, then?  What are they teaching in the schools in this modern age, basket-weaving and calligraphy?  Where are the fundamentals?  So I should’ve been a schoolteacher instead of a fiddler- a whole generation of wee bairns would know the proper order of things.

Still, I cannae imagine why anyone would want to actually read these things, these “blog” things then.  Do we actually have any fans so diehard as to yearn to know our very innermost thoughts?

Wait, here now a better question- do we actually have any young lassie fans so diehard to yearn to know our very innermost thoughts?  And would any of these bonny young colleens like a wee bit of Irish in them?

If I had known the internet could yield bonny lasses, I’d have gotten on it much sooner!  I’ll trade a measure of piratical credential in favor of company without an empty purse to be felt thereafter any day.  Lasses, says I, waiting I am.